Super Konoha Rangers!
by The Red Rebellion
Summary: Orochimaru had thought it'd be easy to infiltrate the Chuunin Exams, scare the Uchiha boy and show him how weak he truly was, mark him with a curse seal, and then wait until he decided to seek him out for power... but something unexpected happened, leaving him utterly baffled. One-Shot with a sprinkling of slight crack.


_Title: _Konoha Rangers

_Synopsis: __Orochimaru had thought it'd be easy __to infiltrate the Chuunin Exams, scare the Uchiha boy and show how weak he __truly__ was, mark him __with a curse seal__, and then wait until he decided to seek him out for power__... __but something went horribly wrong with his plan._

_Words:_ _1594_

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Orochimaru had thought it'd be easy to infiltrate the Chuunin Exams, scare the Uchiha boy and show him how weak he truly was, mark him with a curse seal, and then wait until he decided to seek him out for power. In fact, Orochimaru had thought it'd be easier than stealing candy from a baby. Hell, he thought it'd be easier than beating Tsunade at gambling! But somehow, in all his millions of calculations, he never accounted for _this_.

There they were, three genin fresh out of the Academy, barely old enough to keep themselves from pissing themselves willingly, yet they were keeping themselves from pissing themselves _despite_ his overbearing presence. It was, for all intents and purposes, impossible. Well, not so much impossible – there were certainly plenty of kids and genin who were _strong _and _fearless_. Itachi, at those kids age, was capable and skilled enough to become an ANBU captain, and was reputed to be completely fearless – but it was very _improbable_. He knew they had faced off against Zabuza, Demon of the Mist, but he wasn't exactly the top of the food chain. Easily A-Class, but the ever more special "S-Class" eluded the demon of mist. It was only when he was together with his fellow members of the Mist that he became "S".

Still, that was a tangent he didn't need to dwell on. They faced an A-Class missing-nin, easily giving them an edge over most other genin when it came to dealing with fear. However, that didn't account for fear immunity when it came to _Orochimaru_. Even when he was considered a loyal, trustworthy Konoha ninja, kids pissed their pants when they saw him. It was only that silly girl, Anko, who could somehow tolerate his presence, and frankly it made sense. Anko had made the other kids of her year piss their pants.

So, then, why were they not pissing their pants and begging him not to murder them? Orochimaru wasn't entirely sure, but he was about to find out.

"Ready?" The blond boy, Naruto Uzumaki, asked his two team mates. They nodded – almost impatiently, even – and lightly stretched their backs.

"Don't mess it up this time, dumbass." The raven-haired, and Uchiha genius, Sasuke Uchiha said snidely, smirking so lightly Orochimaru barely caught it.

"Oy! I didn't mess it up last time!" Naruto yelled, obviously indignant and angry. His anger was so focused he seemed to completely disregard the fact there was an overwhelming presence in Orochimaru not far from where he stood. Of course, Orochimaru was no longer exuding killing intent – it was a waste of time, it seemed – and was instead staring at the three with the obvious interest of a scientist. "You just didn't follow me like you were supposed to!"

"Pfft. That's because you don't know how to lead. You always follow Kakashi-sensei's lead." The pink-haired girl, Sakura Haruno, scoffed, brushing some hair from her eyes. "Now, can we get this over with? This guy is giving me the creeps with his staring."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto grumbled, turning back to Orochimaru. Then, he struck a pose, giving the "peace" sign with his right hand, his left fist resting against his hip. "Prepare to be beaten, evil-doer!" Naruto said excitedly, though rather stoically at the same time. It was as if he were reading a script, and doing a very poor job of acting. Frankly, it was baffling to Orochimaru. What in the world were they doing?

Then... "Let's go!" they shouted together, pulling a strange badge from their pouches. With it in hand, they threw their right hands to their left shoulders, then their left hands to their right shoulders. They twisted their right hand out beneath their left arm, extending their arm to the right. The left hand that still touched their right shoulder flew to their right hand, where they then adjusted the hand to point straight forward. With it forward, they brought their left hand from the hand all the way back to their shoulder, twisting their right hand to the right as they did. "_Transform_!" They shouted together.

Orochimaru was, naturally, baffled by the display, and more so by the sudden appearance of bright lights surrounding the three. It was a red light around Naruto, a blue one around Sasuke, and a pink one around Sakura. Then, the lights began to morph and solidify. They took the shape of bodies, wrapping themselves around the trio, finally solidifying into full body suits. They were some strange mixture of the light's color and white, with white elbow gloves, knee boots, and belts. Their belts had golden emblems with the Konoha's Leaf symbol in the center, and the Leaf symbol.

Orochimaru wasn't sure how to describe them, but it only got odder as _helmets_ formed out of literally _nothing_. They were mostly solid colored, a black strip(a visor?) where the eyes would be, outlined by a gold motif. The outline of the Konoha's Leaf symbol was etched into the forehead, much like a forehead protector would be. With said helmets on, the three seemed 'complete'.

And then they took Orochimaru by surprise yet again. Naruto – the red one – called out, "Konoha!" then threw a few punches, a couple kicks, and finishing with a _crane stance_. While in that position, he shouted, "_Red_!"

Then, Sasuke – the blue one - did something similar. Calling out, "Konoha!" he threw three successive spinning kicks, the last one sweeping into a low, spread legged stance, his hands held out in a rather impractical and dramatic way. "_Blue_!"

Likewise, Sakura – the pink one – did the same. With a call of "Konoha!", she threw several straight punches, a high kick that had her swinging her leg behind her, shifting her stance to an almost ballerina-esque stance. "_Pink_!"

With that, they dropped out of their stances. "We are-" they started together, moving as they did. Naruto – who was to the left in Orochimaru's eyes – threw his hands outward to his right, while Sakura – who was to the right in Orochimaru's eyes – threw her hands outward to her left, Sasuke crouching down and extended his arms out to both sides, his hands touching his companion's backs. "the _Konoha Rangers_!"

Out of nowhere, red, blue and pink smoke exploded upwards behind them, blanketing the air with their colors. They maintained that stance through it all, unperturbed by the explosion.

There was a long stretch of silence as Orochimaru digested what just happened. Then, unable to help himself, he burst out laughing. It was all he could do not to choke from laughing so hard, his hands clutching his stomach after a few moments of non-stop laughter.

"They're laughing again." Sakura said, her voice slightly muffled from the helmet, but the annoyance was clear as day.

"It's because you messed it up again, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, and the "Blue Ranger's" head snapped around so fast it was audible with a 'woosh'.

"_Me_? Are you kidding me?! He's laughing because of your stupid, _scripted_ lines!" Sasuke snapped, crossing his arms.

"He's _laughing_ because we look _ridiculous_!" Sakura said sharply. "Look at us! Look at these outfits! And those stupid moves Kakashi taught us!"

"Oy!" Naruto said, offended. "These outfits are totally cool!"

"No they're not!" Sasuke and Sakura echoed. "If they didn't give me this power, I wouldn't be caught _dead_ in this!" Sasuke growled.

"Pfft, yeah, like your caprees are any cooler!"

"They're _shorts_!"

Naruto ignored the comment, continuing with, "You're just pissed your hair that you spend hours styling gets messed up in the helmet!"

"I hate the helmets because it's hard to _breathe_, not because they 'mess up my hair'! Besides, my hair is naturally that way!"

"Bullshit!"

"What about your own hair?! It's all spiky!"

"Children-"

"Hey! My hair being naturally spiky makes more sense than your duck butt!"

"For the _last time_, it's not a duck butt!" "Don't call Sasuke-kun's hair a duck butt!"

"It totally is! You _know it is_!"

"It isn't! It's just spiked in the back!"

"Children!-"

"Yeah, spiked like a duck's butt!"

"You little...!"

"Children!" The three genin stopped, turning to find that Orochimaru – though they were unaware of his identity at this point – was standing there with a mildly annoyed expression. "I believe you're forgetting something - or rather _someone_ - here."

"Oh, right." Naruto scratched his head, or rather his helmet, and looked at his two companions. "Should we?"

They both nodded, Sakura saying, "Yeah, let's get this over with." They struck another strange pose, holding that badge straight out again.

"Rise!" They shouted.

Orochimaru frowned in confusion when the ground began to rumble. It was getting more pronounced, and suddenly the ground split open. From the ground rose three enormous... _things_. One was red, and appeared to be loosely shaped like a fox, another was blue and appeared to be some sort of falcon or hawk, and the last was pink, seemingly a hare of sorts. Jack rabbit, perhaps? Orochimaru wasn't sure, but what he _was _sure of was the fact he hadn't been expecting this. Not in a million years.

Which, if his plan was successful, he'd hopefully live to.

"Alright!" Naruto's voice cried out, and he was seemingly _inside _the fox, though Orochimaru could not see him. "Let's do this! Attaaaacck!"

The mouths of each of the large things started to glow their respective colors. Then, Orochimaru found himself on the receiving end of three lasers. "What the fuc-"

He never got to finish.

* * *

_A/N: Random idea that I felt the urge to write out. Naturally inspired by Power Rangers/Super Sentai, and there's a tiny bit more to the idea than just this blurb... it's just something I will never likely write due to various reasons. Namely a lack of ideas beyond who would be rangers... I imagine Kakashi being "Konoha Silver", filling the "Sixth Ranger" role __while also being the mentor. Somehow or another, he ended up with the Ranger transformation stuff and gave them to his team. __Naturally, since most Ranger/Sentai shows have five rangers, they'd only fill three slots. In my head, I imagine Shikamaru becoming "Konoha Green" (because why not), and Hinata would probably end up becoming "Konoha Yellow". Outside that, I've got nothing. Still, maybe some of you will get a light laugh out of it.  
_


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